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.. It was corny and old-fashioned, but it expressed her deepest longings.Prof awarded her an A-, and what mattered more, third place in the competition. She had won the opportunity to present her case before a national audience.Responses began to trickle in. The trickle became a flood. Beth had a stack of over 200 letters in front of her. All were from men who claimed to be dying to meet her... or, more accurately, dying to meet the woman she had represented herself as.Prof encouraged her to write back to a few of them."But I'm nothing like what these men expect me to be. I'm fat. And ugly. And afraid." Precisely, Beth. You're terrified. That's what lies at the core of your being -- fear. And that's the challenge you have to face up to. As for the rest... certainly you are unconventional in appearance. But you'll discover that some men won't mind, and will, in fact, appreciate your special charms. However, if you don't look, you won't find."Beth began writing letters. And she found. "It never ends. Thebest we do is learn a little of ourselves."We were surrounded by stars. They didn't twinkle but blazed a milliondifferent colors and intensities."Did you and dad go through this?" I asked, nuzzling into her bosom likea newborn, desperate for solace."Not in the same way, the goddess replied. "Our paths differed. I alteredmyself emotionally. Your father transformed himself intellectually. Youhave changed yourself physically."This was the gist of what Abi was saying, but the images and conceptsmultiplied in my mind, adding layers of meaning.Abi had called her journey emotional, but the concept she broadcast wasBinah: the bride, the womb, and the mother of Understanding. It wascontemplation and it was knowledge; that which was given in extra measureto women.The intellect my father pursed was the Chokhmah, the primary force ofcreation. It was also the father, the first insight, the intuition.And it was selflessness.Selflessness? That was antithetical to everything I.
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